At Year’s End, Another Man Shoots Wife in Hospital and Kills Self – Internet Gets All Teary-Eyed Over “Loving” Act

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Lets hope the New Year is kinder and gentler than the old one. The year ended with a highly publicized murder/suicide in NH. Mark Lavoie, at a little past  6 am, shot his wife to death and then successfully killed himself immediately after. He did this just 4 minutes after posting his intent on Facebook. (No criticism of friends on FB – the few who saw the post that early replied immediately and tried to contact him, with one friend even driving to the house and then to the hospital. There was just no time to prevent this.)

From a story on the murder/suicide from NECN:

Mark and Katherine Lavoie both died after shots were fired just after 6 a.m. at Wentworth-Douglass Hospital in Dover, friends and family confirmed to NECN. Authorities have not revealed the pair’s identities.

The New Hampshire attorney general’s office said the investigation is still in its early stages, but the two deaths appear to be the result of a murder-suicide. Autopsies will be conducted to determine the cause and manner of the deaths.

On Facebook, Mark Lavoie stated his anguished motives for wanting to take his wife’s life, writing in part, “now because of my selfishness in dialing 911, she is experiencing the only thing she feared more than her illness, life-support on a respirator.”

Barbara Hanson, a friend of the Lavoies, told NECN that it was not a crime, but an “act of love,” and that the two were soulmates. According to Hanson, it wasn’t a secret that Katherine Lavoie was battling depression, and she said she believes Katherine tried to commit suicide on Sunday night, which was when her husband called 911. Hanson said Katherine Lavoie ended up on life support at Wentworth-Douglass Hospital.

“He knew Kathy would not want to live as a vegetable, and I think he knew he would be so broken without her that he needed to be with her and that’s why he did what he did,” Hanson said, adding, “This was not something that was done out of hate or loathing or anger or despair. This is something that was done out of pure, absolute love.”

In a similar article on the Huffington Post, I posted this response to what was being claimed in the article and the already mounting comments about how devoted and loving Mark Lavoie was:

I’d like to point out what should be obvious. The *only* “evidence” we have that the woman who was killed would have wanted this is from the word of the man who killed her.

There is consistent research of homicide/suicides in elderly people (the pattern here is similar) – 9 out of 10 involve the husband killing the wife. In a majority of cases, there is NO evidence the wife wanted to die or be killed. If it’s about compassion and love at work here, why are men doing almost all of the killing? Or is this about men reacting to stress with violence?

Diane Coleman also posted this reality check on the NECN story:

According to the American Academy of Neurology, a medical prognosis that the wife would remain in a vegetative state would require a waiting period of 90 days from the date she sustained the brain injury, not one or two days, to see what happens. (See https://www.aan.com/guidelines/home/getguidelinecontent/83.) People also may require a respirator temporarily following a brain injury, such as for a few weeks. I don’t have statistics from a medical authority to cite regarding the respirator issue, but have known many brain injured and spinal cord injured people who started out on a respirator and weaned off within a few weeks or months.

The responses of friends and family will sound familiar to readers of this blog. Men who kill wives who are old, ill or disabled are more lauded for their acts than condemned.  But there’s research out there and an abundance of stories that dig deeper – that paint a more accurate and troubling picture.  In this type of murder/suicide (and attempted suicide) the perpetrator is almost always a man killing his female spouse. Most of the victims haven’t asked to die or expressed a wish to die.

We’ve posted a lot of information on this. If nothing else please check out the 2013 post “An elderly woman’s “mercy killing” looking more like murder – an overview of elderly homicide/suicides” for some analysis of other murder/suicides and information on the research regarding these tragedies.

 

John Kelly Reports on Monday’s New Jersey Senate Committee Hearing

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The New Jersey state Senate Health, Human Services and Senior Citizens Committee passed its assisted suicide bill, S382, out of committee yesterday, December 15th. Senate President and co-sponsor Steve Sweeney initially said that a full Senate vote would be held on Thursday, the last scheduled full session of the year, but later indicated that the vote would not be called this week.  Susan K. Livio of NJ.com reported that “Sweeney said he and other supporters would embark on an ‘educational campaign’ to discuss the matter with colleagues.”

As Dustin Racioppi wrote at NorthJersey.com:

It isn’t known if it has the 21 votes to clear the Senate, though Senate President Stephen Sweeney, D-Gloucester, has come out in support of the bill. In a statement, he said he believes there “needs to be an honest discussion about this option.”

Speculation is that Sweeney plans to twist some arms – as he may have done in the committee itself – in order to pass a bill and score points against Republican Gov. Chris Christie, who has pledged to veto it.

The good news for the people in the crosshairs is that great disability rights activists showed up to testify against the bill, including reportedly a dozen in wheelchairs. From Philadelphia ADAPT and Not Dead Yet came German Parodi and Alan Holdsworth. German said that when he was unconscious after his spinal cord injury 21 years ago, doctors urged his grandmother to “put him down.” We are so glad she didn’t!

Holdsworth was quoted at the bottom of Racioppi’s article:

“What we have is palliative care for the rich and death for the poor. Is that the road we’re really going down here?” said Alan Holdsworth, a member of the group Not Dead Yet.

Meghan Schrader represented Second Thoughts Massachusetts and the millennial generation (which she says is opposed to assisted suicide 54%-45%) in describing disabled foster kids’ distance from the Brittany Maynard idea of personal “autonomy.” Stephen Mendelsohn drove from Connecticut to call out the incredible me-me-me selfishness of Compassion & Choices, the arch-proponents behind the bill.  Making assisted suicide just another medical treatment option doesn’t only affect the C&C elite, but also thousands of elders and people with disabilities who must deal with a cost-cutting health care system and sometimes face cruel abuse from family members and caregivers.

Opponents of the bill vastly outnumbered proponents, but it appears that Compassion & Choices, who was not present, was privy to the plan settled before the hearing even began: that amid concerns about safeguards and teen suicide, the bill would be passed out of committee “without recommendation.”  That piece of information was revealed by Republican Sen. Bob Singer, who cast his “no” vote.

Two Democrats who voted to pass the bill out of committee, Chair Sen. Joseph Vitale and Sen. Robert Gordon, said they would vote against the bill on the floor.

Fortunately, the strong turn out of disability rights advocates opposing the bill gave everyone a chance to see how we live with dignity while we fight the insultingly named “death with dignity” bills.  The C&C zealots don’t care about assisted suicide deaths due to mistakes, coercion and abuse, which they seem to consider as acceptable collateral damage.  But none of us are expendable.  We’re Not Dead Yet and nothing about us without us!

 

NJ Attorney Compares Death Penalty and Assisted Suicide, Finds Both Unworkable

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An interesting op ed appeared in the Times of Trenton late last month, comparing death penalty and assisted suicide laws.  H. John Witman III is a retired attorney who practiced for nearly 20 years in the New Jersey Division of Criminal Justice. He is a member of the board of directors of the Progressive Center for Independent Living, one of the New Jersey disability organizations that opposes the pending assisted suicide bill.  But his reasoning is not what we typically see.  Excerpts follow below:

The unlikely alliance in opposition to the New Jersey bill — disability rights advocates, faith-based organizations and medical professionals — itself signals that something is fundamentally wrong with assisted suicide laws. I offer a practical assessment that, whether or not assisted suicide is ethically or morally right, whether or not its intentions are good, assisted suicide cannot work. It cannot work, just as the death penalty could not work.

***

The death penalty is a relevant analogy. Assisted suicide is like the death penalty, because the state would prescribe a scheme by which a life can be intentionally and lawfully taken. New Jersey’s death penalty statute provided many layers of protection and review to assure that life would be taken fairly. As a result, in the years between enactment of the death penalty in 1982 and the report of the Death Penalty Study Commission in 2007, the New Jersey Supreme Court had overturned 57 of 60 death sentences and the remaining three were under appeal. The Legislature abolished the death penalty in 2007, on recommendation of the commission.

***

Beyond the burdens of fair and workable administration, there is a feature that no protection, no procedure, indeed, no statute, can touch. Judges who gave statements to the Death Penalty Study Commission implied that, ultimately, even some of the death penalty decisions were arbitrary or subjective. The decision to take one’s own life is as private and, perhaps, as subjective a decision as can be made.

The state can never know what subtle coercions make one choose to take one’s own life, or worse, cause one to decide that another’s life is not worth living.

John Witman’s entire op ed can be read here.

Our Board Members Have Been Busy on Many Fronts

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Over the past month or so, we’ve shared some press coverage that included some of our board members.  It seems like it’s as good a time as any to share some of the NDY-related activity that some of our board members have engaged in recently.  This is not a complete list – we’ll try to share some updates later on the rest of the board.  For more info on our board members, check out this link.

On November 24th, Yonkers Voice published this extended interview with Mike Volkman. Mike shared information about growing up disabled in a world filled with barriers. The brief bio serves as a context to help explain the opposition to legalized assisted suicide that he, Not Dead Yet, and disability activists maintain:

On December 3, DebateOut published extended interviews with board Member Samantha Crane and NDY Regional Director John Kelly. The interviews are parts of a larger back and forth that also features interviews with Philosophy professor Elizabeth Picciuto, bioethicist Art Caplan, and NY Compassion and Choices’ Ex. Dir. David Leven. The article features internal links to the full interviews. The link to Samantha Crane’s full interview is here. The link to John Kelly’s full interview is here.

Board member Bill Peace continues to address any and all disability issues at his blog Bad Cripple. He’s written about Brittany Maynard here, here and here in recent months.

Board member Robin Stephens has been traveling, educating and celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act with the ADA Legacy Tour Bus.

That’s all for now, but much more coming on what we are up to – NDY staff, board and activists all keeping up the fight against the pro-assisted suicide movement.

Guest Blog by Alan Holdsworth: Not Dead Yet Action in Philadelphia – Small Action, Small Victory

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On December 9th, a small group of disabled rights activists braved the rain and cold and held a protest outside State Representative Jordan Harris’s office in Philadelphia.

Unfortunately his office was up steps so we remained outside chanting and giving out flyers.

Fortunately he was in his office and came out to meet us and, after a short time, he agreed to meet with Not Dead Yet Pennsylvania on the 7th of January on our turf at Liberty Resources.

Jordan Harris was one of the co sponsors of the Death With Dignity Bill introduced this year into the House in Pennsylvania. There are plans to introduce it again next year. He said on his doorstep that he is now undecided as to whether to support it.

The good thing about this is that we will get a lot of disabled people to this meeting (weather permitting), which will hopefully change his mind about being a co-sponsor in 2015.

We are building a coalition and the resistance moves onwards, growing stronger everyday.

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