There’s new blog entry from Mike Ervin at Smart Ass Cripple.
The Smart Ass is no dummy. All of the Republicans vying to be president are talking about the sacrifices that must be made by Americans – except for the gazillionaires who have millions stashed away in Switzerland, the Caymans, and other sheltering locales,
Mike – or Smart Ass – can read the writing on the wall, tell which way the wind is blowing and any number of other clichés that tell him he’s just leading way too cushy a life – and much of it on the public dollar. So in his latest blog, Smart Ass Cripple attempts to crunch the numbers and see what it would take to make him less of a burden on society.
For your education and entertainment, here’s the beginning of “A Burden to Society“:
Every time I take a leak, it costs the state of Illinois 38 cents. The state pays $11.50 per hour to the people I hire to help me take a leak. That’s about 19 cents a minute. I guesstimate that on average, each leak takes about two minutes, from unzip to zip. If I leak four times daily, on average, that’s $1.52. Extrapolate that out over a year and that’s $554!
Each time I sit on the crapper, that’s about 20 minutes. So that carries a price tag of $3.80 a day or $1387 a year. That’s $1941 of taxpayer money eaten up by one man’s bodily functions!
And that doesn’t even count all the other stuff my workers do for me, such as putting on my pants ($208 a year), brushing my teeth, ($244) and making my armpit smell like a cool sea breeze ($226).
There’s no doubt about it. The numbers don’t lie. I am a burden to society.
IMO, this piece gets even better from this point on. But you’ll have to go to the site to read the rest. So please go and read the rest of this essay here. –Stephen Drake